Tag Archives: bully

General Safety Issues

TEN TELLTALE SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS BEING BULLIED (GUEST POST)

 
 

Bullying is a problem of epidemic proportions, and can affect every aspect of a child’s life. While visibility around the issue has been raised as the most severe cases make national news, there is still a prevailing idea that bullying is part of childhood and is only a sign of “kids being kids.” Parents of children who are frequently the butt of bullies’ jokes know that the problem is much more severe than mere child’s play. If you’re concerned that your child may be the target of schoolyard or cyber-bullying, here are some signs to be on the lookout for. 

  1. Withdrawal from Activities – Has your child lost interest in extracurricular activities he once enjoyed? This could be a sign of your child being bullied. If he once loved his after-school clubs or teams and now actively avoids them, there could be harassment taking place that makes him reluctant to attend.
  2. Eating and Sleeping Habit Changes – Noticeable changes in your child’s eating or sleeping patterns can indicate that she’s under some sort of stress, which could be the result of being targeted by bullies. She could have a lessened appetite because of the thoughts running through her mind of her tormentor. If she’s eating more at home than usual, it could mean that her lunch is being stolen. Her sleeping habits could have changed because she now has nightmares about the person picking on her. There are a variety of potential causes for these changes, so they should be investigated.
  3. Irritability – Being picked on can put anyone in a bad mood, so try to look for the root of increased irritability or a shortened temper after school. Bullies wear on a child’s self-esteem, and a child with low self-esteem can lash out from that added tension.
  4. Avoiding School – The occasional faked stomach ache is a common ploy to get out of school for a few hours of sleep or to miss a test she’s not prepared for, but regular attempts to get out of going to school may be a sign of a child who’s actively avoiding her tormentors.
  5. Decrease in Grades – It’s difficult to concentrate on school work and getting good grades when that mean kid in class keeps kicking your chair or making fun of you. Your child’s grades might be suffering, not due to indifference to school, but due to a bully constantly nagging.
  6. Fidgeting – If your child used to sit still very well and for long periods of time but now seems to fidget, it could be because of a bully. A physical bully may spur the “flight” half of the “fight or flight” instinct, causing them to be hyper-aware of their surroundings and always ready to bolt.
  7. Unwilling to Discuss School – A child who avoids answering questions about his day or answers evasively could be hiding the fact that someone was picking on him. The part of the school day that has the longest impression on your child right now may be the fact that someone doesn’t like him and he’s being made fun of. It’s tough to remember the exciting parts of the day when your child’s thoughts are consumed by the torment of a classmate.
  8. Acting Out – Increased aggression and violent outbursts can be an indicator of bullying, as kids who spend their days being harassed seek an outlet for their frustrations. Any sudden personality change should be cause for concern, but a turn in a more aggressive direction should be addressed immediately.
  9. Being Mean to Younger Siblings – Is your child starting to pick on your other children? If so, she might have a bully she’s dealing with when you aren’t there. It’s natural to want to unload your burden onto someone else in the same way it was unloaded onto you. Your child could just need to get her anger out of her but doesn’t know how to, so she resorts to doing the same thing to her younger siblings that is being done to her.
  10. Unexplained Bruises or Injuries – Physical bullies do still exist. If your child comes home with bruises or injuries that are not linked to the regular rambunctiousness of a child, it’s time to get concerned. Yes, it’s possible that he fell down on the playground, but it’s also possible that he was pushed down by a bully and is scared to tell you about it.

The shame and embarrassment that can accompany being bullied is often enough to keep kids quiet about their troubles, especially if they’re afraid that they’ll be subjected to retribution for tattling. Be patient with your child and let him know that you’re on his side, and that you’ll find a solution to the problem together.

This article is shared with us by Teresa Belcher, of Nannyagency.net

General Safety Issues

WORKPLACE BULLIES

We have written articles about one of the most dreaded things in school or the workplace – bullies.  A while back, our article “Bullying is a Problem for All Ages,” brought a response from someone who is bullied in what seems to be all facets of his/her work.  It is hard to find the exact words to comfort and advise this person, as it seems he/she has tried about everything to remedy the situation.  (I sincerely hope things are much better now.)  

If you are in a work environment where you are constantly picked on, maybe the best thing to do is find another job.  The cost of staying where you are may be higher than the cost of leaving.  We’re not encouraging anyone to run away, we’re just saying there may be other options out there where you are not constantly subjected to someone who is manipulative, devious, and deceptive.  Bullies get their start in school; we have offered advice to parents to be able to help their children know what to do to avoid the type of misery that bullies create. 

Have you ever heard the saying, “Kill them with kindness?”  Many times, a soft approach to a bully may be better than bristling up.  They aren’t interested in anything that others think or feel, but rather in being a know-it-all, wrapped up in their own mini-world.  I had a boss that thought he could build himself up by putting me and other coworkers down, especially in front of customers.  Also, I worked with a lady that acted as though I was inferior to her, until one day, I got some backbone and finally stood up for myself; she was  nice after that.  I could list several ways that I let co-workers intimidate me, which I would handle differently if I could do it all over.  But I can’t, so maybe this will help you overcome these uncomfortable times. 

Don’t cower when someone treats you unkindly; be friendly, self-confident, calm, and assertive.  Prepare yourself before you confront a bully. Let them know you are not going to be their target.  Most “victims” are soft-hearted, gentile, unassertive, sensitive people.  (I fit that bill a long time ago, maybe still do.) I don’t like confrontations, who does?  But there comes a time when you decide you have as much right to come to work every day and be free from harassment as everyone else.  You should establish a support group among your coworkers, and keep copies of everything – memos, emails, letters, that you have received from the person making your life miserable.  Document everything, from the number of times, regularity, and patterns of the persecutions that happen.  If it doesn’t stop, go to your supervisor or union representative. 

Unfortunately, there are some companies that allow management to treat their employees in ways that are disrespectful, because those toughies seem to get more production out of their workers.  In this case, if your boss is the bully, it may be difficult to overcome the situation you are in.  You need to try to get along with your boss if possible.  Follow the lead of a co-worker that seems to please him/her.  If this is impossible, then do the best you can while looking for another place of employment.  Management should not tolerate bullies; it should be unacceptable in any business that others should suffer, when it would be easier to terminate one bully, than lose several good employees.  They might discover that employees are more productive when they are at ease.

You won’t be a victim of a bully if you work on your self-esteem, stand up for yourself, and are friendly, strong and assertive.  You have as much right to be in your place of employment as the bully.  Just do your job and try your best to ignore the person that never grew up after junior high school.  Remember – you are above the level that he/she lives on.

General Safety Issues

BULLYING CAN BE A PROBLEM FOR ALL AGES

Probably everyone has had to deal with a bully at one time or another.  There’s always going to be someone making another person’s life miserable.  Almost like a disease without a cure, bullying often goes too far.  Too often, we hear about a teenager that has decided the only way to escape the torment of a bully is to commit suicide.  This needs to stop.

Definitions of a bully are, someone who:

(a) intimidates;

(b) threatens;

(c) frightens;

(d) terrorizes; and/or

(e) endangers.

Anyone who has encountered bullies can no doubt add other descriptions.  What can we as a society do about this problem?  Parents are the key.  By paying close attention to our kids, we can notice when they seem to be acting differently, and ask questions.  Many times a child won’t say that someone is harassing them, until it’s gone too far.  Place a confidential call to school officials to bring the problem to their attention.  If school administration or teachers are unable to curtail the situation, call law enforcement.

In the past, things like this happened on “mean streets.”  With cell phones, computers, and email chat rooms, the cyber world creates virtual “bad streets” everywhere!  Cowards hiding behind a computer or cell phone can make a person’s life miserable by spreading all sorts of rumors or making threats.

Then, there are some of the bullies left over from junior high, still out there, seeking attention the only way they know, by picking on someone else and trying to build themselves up by making others feel small.  (We’re talking about the workplace, now!) Here’s some advice for grown-ups and students to apply when encountering a bully:

  • Avoid this person as much as possible.
  • Develop self-control; don’t let them think they have the best of you.
  • Ignore them.
  • Talk to teachers, school administrators.  They have laws to follow to protect you.
  • Talk to your supervisor; your company should have policies that protect you.
  • Ask that security cameras be placed in areas that could deter these activities.
  • Keep a record.  It’s always good advice to document, document, document!
  • If it keeps up, make a formal complaint to management.
  • When that doesn’t work, seek legal advice.  Personal injury lawyers’ consultations are usually free.

This all goes back to parenting.  If parents know they are raising a bully, they should put a stop to it before it gets out of hand.  The damage that bullies can cause sometimes leaves a permanent scar on their victim.  We all must learn to behave toward others in a positive way.
Only then will we see a safer world.